Unresolved Conflict
A micro blog of sorts. Be wary of unfiltered thoughts.
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What’s a bogus meeting/event I can put on my calendar to extend my lunch break that most wouldn’t question?
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I present, a beautiful green text by our beloved ChatGPT-kun
be me software developer company decides to go “full Agile” everyone now has to attend daily stand-ups stand-up meetings are supposed to be 15 minutes always turn into 45 minutes of pointless updates “yesterday I worked on the thing, today I will work on the thing” scrum master asks if there are any blockers blockers are the meetings spend more time talking about work than actually doing it sprint planning every two weeks product owner changes priorities halfway through retro meetings to discuss how inefficient we are decide we need more meetings to fix inefficiency JIRA tickets multiply like rabbits spend half the day updating JIRA instead of coding someone suggests another Agile framework to solve our problems Scrum master loves it more meetings, more “ceremonies” TFW you just want to code but Agile won’t let you product still ships late “we need more Agile training” mfw
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I think I will give up Neovim.
I also don’t want to look back. As much as I love keyboard driven development, I have many other things to learn.
I don’t care enough about it.
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I miss US at times , but,
I can’t imagine going for so long without some of the things I’ve taken for granted here in Japan.
- First is Ryokans and onsens. They are so incredible. Great way to relieve stress, relax, help the local economy. And it feels great.
- Actually reasonable toilets and showers. I love the separation between toilet and shower and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
- trains trains trains trains trains trains
- No religious people in my face
- Cheap skiing
I think there are other ones but these are really great.
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Everything is awful. I spend all day tired, and then finally when I get the opportunity to sleep - wide awake.
Why?
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Connections Puzzle #371 🟨🟨🟨🟨 🟪🟪🟦🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟪🟦🟦🟪 🟦🟦🟦🟦 🟪🟪🟪🟪
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I don’t need possessions. I want less.
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I need to call my family more.
This is important to me.
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I think what I want to do is build my own, one or few person company.
I don’t know if I could ever handle the stress of a full startup. It feels as if recently people create a startup without any thought of the product. People’s eyes are only on the IPO. Of course you need to build a good product to get paying users, but often times it never plays out like that. It’s because they don’t really care about a good product, they care about paying customers (for an IPO). Take a look at Slack, Discord, Spotify…idk they are all slob in my opinion. And because paying customers is priority (yes it should be for a business…), they spend more money on marketing than development (don’t quote me on this).
I just mean perhaps I would love to make a company that values the quality of their product just as much as the satisfaction of their customers.
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Showerish thought. The US kind of encourages (too much) to do all that’s needed to make ends meet. Maybe that’s why people are so eager to brake the law. And conversely, that’s why so many people go to jail. Well I know jails are a very different problem and there are potentially other socioeconomic issues that are explain larger incarceration rates, but I can’t help but think USA’s go get it attitude doesn’t help it at all.
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Need to become stronger
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Wordle 1,093 4/6
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I’m afraid to tell anyone anything because I’ll be lectured about how this is bad and that’s bad and how I need to be careful.
Maybe it’s me, maybe I AM careless. But I am trying. I don’t think anyone notices that.
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Wordle 1,091 5/6
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Zed is a cool editor. It’s not super pretty, but it’s pretty enough. At least I think it looks better than VSCode.
It’s cool, the developers in my eyes are like superheroes. They are publishing a new version of Zed like almost every 5 days, and with a lot of these releases there’s a lot of non-trivial things on there. They are flying. It sounds like a dream to me.
It makes me a bit sad though, too. A bunch of rockstars get together and build something amazing. I don’t feel like I can do that (yet). I mean it’s not really something I particularly aspire to, but the notion sounds very cool.
Another thing is that while I try to use Zed every now and then I feel that it’s a bit wasted on me. Zed is the best collaborative editor out there, and I often wish I had the prowess to attract other skilled developers to work together with me.
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Hospitals are incredible. You see death and you see life. So much of humanity is encapsulated here.
I regret not having volunteered at the hospital. Perhaps sometime soon if the opportunity presents itself.
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I am trying to overcome the nerd sniping that vim has become.
I do not have time, nor the patience to handle the config in Neovim.
I really do like the keyboard driven approach, but, I don’t know how much it adds. It’s more hobby than anything.
But I’m not sure. I hate this. Because sometimes I can’t let go.
I don’t know why I’ve been thinking of letting go. It’s just that I am too interested in other editors. I’m here, I am there. I suck at everything.
Why can’t I be happy with anything.
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Zed editor is becoming really good. The aesthetics are okay, but it’s maybe the best modern editor (to me) that looks to be as key-driven as possible. This may be partly because a lot of the developers on the team were/are vim users. Also, the team is wicked “cracked” as they say. They are updating the editor on a weekly basis (maybe more?) with impactful features. Literally it gets way better week by week. I guess I need to start using it more again.
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Par, and counter.
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People advertise Discord servers like crazy. I have joined already a good handful of them and I can keep up with exactly 1 of them, of which the posts are relatively minimal. The rest are impossible. Not to mention how most technical discords are pretty close to “slob”. A handful of people show up, ask obscure niche questions and occasionally one or two smart guys answer most of these questions, there’s hardly any discourse.
Honestly quite frustrating.
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I’m a few minutes from having my bi-yearly checkup at the hospital for my meniscus/knee. It became bi-yearly from last year December, the doctor seemingly declaring that “I’m good”, and so since then I’ve done some “dubious” things to my knee, such as some wicked skiing in the alps. But even during this time I felt good.
Only about ~2 weeks ago have I started feeling a bit weird around my meniscus. It doesn’t hurt, nor is it swollen (I think). I don’t necessarily feel weak either…but I do at times. Typically after some warmup I feel more stable. But overall, I just feel like my muscles around my knee are weak despite going to the gym for them. I guess maybe I am not going enough? I am not sure.
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I’m a bit worried about my background, and my future child’s background. I think community is important, but it’s hard to be part of a community when interests are different. Culturally different, to be precise.
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Things that make me happy:
- Passion for the game. THE Game. It’s a fever all around the world. I love when stupid men get together and curse in unison. Cheer in unison.
- The view of a high mountain after a tough hike. Nothing feels better than that burn on your thighs and then getting to see a view that makes you feel like you’re on top of the world.
- Riding my bike on a sunny day, listening to music, sunglasses on. Riding to nowhere in particular, just riding, listening, basking in the sun.
I think I need to go outside more.
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It’s days like these that really make me miss good ol’ America. I really miss the environment around me. The people who always put a lot of trust in you, who encourage you to take risks, who are not scared of things.
Sometimes I really need that friend who is like “that’s a pretty steep drop…fuck it let’s do it”.
Or the friend who, at a party the night before at 11pm tells me “wanna cycle 45km tomorrow morning?“.
I miss those days. I hate to reminisce, but I like it. Well anyways to kind of tie it all together, I definitely miss this “go-get-it-all” type of mentality. I feel there’s too much cautiousness in my life. I don’t want to be a dog with a tail between my legs.
I want to be a charging moose.
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In general I just feel a lack of respect. I don’t know why. It might really not be like that, that it’s all in my head.
But at times I find myself receiving advice from everyone…it somehow gets at me. Like I can’t decide myself. Like I am not competent enough to figure it out, to do the “right and most reasonable” thing. It’s not an individual, it’s just the atmosphere around me.
I have this urge to just run away, go somewhere, work my ass off and succeed in someway. To prove to people, to gain respect. Somehow.
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I should go to the gym.
I have worked with some designers that I kind of find a joy to work with. I like the way we do things. I wonder if I can take a shot and ask her if she’d be interested in ever doing some projects together.
A designer that is product oriented, hands me the designs, is maybe something I can really get with.
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I’m thinking of hiding all these posts under some quiz type of authentication. Not that it matters much as I’m posting into the void.
But it feels good.
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Awful, murky thoughts of inadequacy. It doesn’t help that it feels like no one listens to me.
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I found a great usage of my time during meetings.
Deleting unread and useless emails. Relatively low thinking needed. Perfect.
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I’m writing this to remind myself of how much I hate meetings and I hate emails. Just leave me alone.
Although I’m just not sure what the best solution to this communication stuff is . I do maybe think it would be best if we all took things a bit slower road a bit longer but more concise documents.
Honestly, some people think that when you get together with other people, you can collaborate better you think more but sometimes I think when I’m in a meeting with someone whether it’s in person or not, I stop thinking unless I feel entirely comfortable with that person, but even then I still don’t get those juices flowing. It’s only when I’m sitting down in my own zone .
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Coffee is a double-edged sword. Currently I am sitting here, high on caffeine, looking at WWDC and Twitter, and particularly all the cool and creative things people are building on there.
But in the back of my mind is this dread of work. I need to do things that aren’t particularly interesting or very creative.
Need to fix this.
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I had a realization. I feel I am identity-less.
I think deep down in my heart I am seeking something to belong to. I was never very patriotic. Living in Japan I sometimes feel a bit more patriotic. And I thought that yes, maybe this is it, I am finally American as it’s meant to be. But I don’t really want to go back. I don’t really want to stay here either. There’s no good place for me to go. I feel like there’s no home for me, anymore.
Of course, home is where family is, but that’s only about a few kilometers at most.
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I’ve been taking kickboxing lessons for about a year now and it’s really fun. I’m also do it because my wife is also enjoying it and slowly as I get better on it I get a bit more competitive and then I started to ask the question should I enter a tournament or a competition, but while going 10 one with someone is arguably the most fun part about kickboxing. I’m just not keen at all getting injured in anyway it’s really fun to go against someone, but I just keep thinking about how getting repeatedly punched in the face or forehead raises the chances of getting a concussion, potentially cripples me, in terms of cognitive thinking not to mention the legs there’s a high chance of getting injured there and this is even more relevant considering I had a pretty big injury not too long ago parentheses I broke my meniscus and had to get surgery for it.)
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Another tweet really detailing another issue with JavaScript. Other frameworks or languages aren’t always so heavily pushed by VC’s and such.
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After thinking a bit about why I’m trying to “invest time in Elixir”, I understand why. It’s because I believe the tools (and the language) developed in Elixir boast a complete package. Phoenix itself is a great example, you have everything and opinionated, unlike in the “JavaScript land”, you have many choices for ways to organize your backend. Elixir also is showing great promise for AI, which is not something we can say for JavaScript. Lastly, I think I like functional programming far more than object oriented programming. I think these are all good reasons.
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I start really dislike Uniqlo as of recent. It being cheap textile is enough reason to in my opinion, but additionally, everyone uses Uniqlo which makes it a bit less appealing. The fit is awful, too. Wash a shirt twice and you look bad on it unless you’re shredded.
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Sometimes I really love Mac. Maybe not sometimes, but most times. But when I get the aesthetic right, it feels really good.
The applications are Firefox, Bear Notes and Nova IDE.
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I hate programming. I hate how there is a million different things I’m interested in and want to try. I can’t just stick to one thing and get good at it. Everything is stressful to me. I waver easily. Everyone has strong opinions about things but I just can’t decide on anything. Why???
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I am watching Ryan’s (Remix Guy) talk on React Server Component at Big Sky Dev Con. As always, very cool demo. I’m so weary though of these demos, though. It’s not super intuitive for me to use RSC. If it was easy and I could do cool things like Ryan, then I’d love to try it, but in practice, it never really works that way. Skill issue, I suppose?
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I am so envious but also cautious about these “indie hackers” I see on Twitter. They all boast insane monthly recurring revenue. Who is paying for all this? Their products are all very stupid. They super niche but most of them can’t seriously be something people like to pay for.
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One thing I know is that I definitely need to write more code. I need to write more Elixir code.
Let’s GO.
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I also wish I could rid myself of the clutches of Apple. I’m torn on this. MacBooks are my favorite hardware of all time, I love the software, but, at the same time, I also really love the idea of Linux. I love the mission, and at times it can be fun.
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I want to give up React. I feel like I have wasted so much time with it. It’s a frontend library but somehow I get caught up in the weeds and what I really want to do is learn how to build apps from start to finish. That includes the backend and React does not include the backend.
It gets even more ridiculous with RSC. I’m not looking forward to learning more just so I can generate a frontend that would have sufficed.
This shouldn’t stop me from learning about backend stuff, but I do feel it’s a lot. Idk.
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The cellphone is the devil
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For the record doctors are not special. They are not angels sent from the heavens. Many doctors have done malpractice. How many people have died under the guidance of doctors. Doctors are normal people that have just taken the time to study about medical topics. They are important for society. They are not special. Sometimes I feel that the impression around doctors is overblown again. They are very important just as garbageman are important. I don’t entirely mean to equate doctors to garbagemen, but sometimes I think they should humble themselves.
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A lot of people can justify purchasing fancy out expensive tools to make their work environment better or make them productive. Not me though. I don’t want to purchase anything that keeps me more inside. But I lie a bit. I’ve been thinking recently what would be a good expense for me, and funnily, I think something like running shoes makes sense. Anything that makes me go outside will make work better in the long run.
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I see so many things about games online. It saddens me a bit that I just don’t really like games that much. Video games, at least. I do play a lot of chess, though. But despite having a Nintendo Switch and a PS5, I play way more online chess.
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This is so awesome: Yamanote Style. Definitely gets me a bit nostalgic for Tokyo.
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First touch of Xcode and it feels nice to have an opinionated environment. The code, the tools, everything. Perhaps this was the way for the ADHD man.
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Good morning. I really want to get good at Elixir. I don’t know why. I’m slightly driven by the fact that Elixir boasts a “complete package” with its web framework Phoenix. It feels like it reaches a good portion of apps. I mean, so many apps can be made with “vanilla” Phoenix.
- Post on 6/3/2024, 11:10:31 PM
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Today, I saw a React Server Components tweet that talked about a “colossal security breach”. I took a few minutes to try and understand what the issue was exactly, in the context of RSC. I didn’t understand it at all. Now I’m a bit stressed, because I feel that I had only just gotten relatively good at React a few months ago.
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Insane how OP the London System opening is for white. I’m wondering at what level do I start to hit players that know how to play against it with black. Currently I climbed up to 1400 in 3+2 blitz, I hope I can reach 1500. I have met a few 1400 that pose interesting challenges (knowing to play against the London effectively), but overall a lot of players get “rekt”. I must study it more, it is way too much fun.
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I enjoy learning about elixir, but sometimes it feels like I’m learning to operate some heavy machinery when really I just wanted a small power tool
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I started reading a book on deploying Elixir applications and introduced me to
adsfversion manager. I already knew about it from before but never got to try it. It looks good, sensible, and I like that it is for a lot of things rather than just one (like nodejs). -
I watched a video about how having to actively use your brain to try and remember things (languages, streets, tasks, etc) was good for some particular brain development. A lot of it these days has been offloaded to phones so some studies show reduced development (I forgot what area and what it was called). I wonder if people who continue to learn and practice foreign languages will have better development in that area and if it makes a significant difference. Another reason for me to try and slog through countless Kanjis.
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This Drafts app is really amazing!
- My 2024 Goals
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I’ve started working primarily with Vue.js at the start of this year. Before that, I had only worked with React, and actually React was my introduction to web development (a scary thing to say in today’s web dev world). But since starting to work with Vue, I’ve also spent a lot of time writing vanilla JavaScript in my free time. It’s important to do that, because I don’t think that Vue & React have abstracted well enough to the point where you don’t need to think about JavaScript. You’re often still writing JavaScript, so I don’t really think that abstracting away the quirks of vanilla JavaScript was a goal anyways.
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2023
Title Author Rating Altered Carbon Richard Morgan ⭐⭐⭐ Leviathan Wakes (The Expanse Book 1) James S.A. Corey ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 2022
Title Author Rating Dune Frank Herbert ⭐⭐⭐⭐